From era to era, our country has seen it all when it comes to racial bias, discrimination, and unrest.
All, but a true end to it.
So, what does it take to actually achieve racial equality?
It's important to recognize that there isn't a path to follow. There is a path to forge. The kind of work that makes lasting change is rooted in internal reflection, awareness, and a brave willingness to question ourselves.
Beliefs and values created and perpetuated the social construct called "race". It divides us by color and the ideas we ascribe to color. It's crucial to remember that we get to shape better, fairer ideas of our life as American citizens.
But only if we do our own internal work. When it comes to race, we must ask ourselves why we've allowed the ideas of racial inequality, supremacy, and animosity to persist. 2021 is the time to be unflinchingly honest, self-aware, and personally accountable.
The first step? A step toward individual truth and authenticity. Being willing to turn inward and get to the heart of certain, persistent racial realities in your own mind is necessary. Paying attention to the race-related thoughts and ideas that make you think, react, or shy away is the key to our collective breakthrough.
It's then that race conversations and social solutions get real attention and authentic relationships are built.
There's no shame in this process. The real shame would be to allow anxiety and perceived helplessness to keep you from it.
4 Self-Reflective Questions to Ask Yourself in 2021 Regarding Race
Ask yourself: What do I know about my own racial and cultural identity?
Think about who you are and how you are perceived.
Whether you are white or BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of color), racial identity matters. Though we all wish for the day that skin color doesn't divide us, the fact that we see it and ascribe meaning to it is woven into the American psyche. It's okay to acknowledge and accept the whole of who you are. If it makes you afraid, angry, sad, relieved, etc. that’s honest. It’s also okay to reflect on why that is. Knowing and accepting yourself starts with knowing where you come from, and how that is perceived...for better or for worse.
Ask yourself: How does my past continue to play a part in my perception of racial grievances, protests, and conversations?
Think about the messages you heard about racial groups growing up.
The idea here is to take a good look at your own racial history. Take some time to describe what you heard and perceived about white people, African Americans, Latinx, Native Americans, Asian Americans, Pacific Islanders, immigrant groups, etc. Early in life, in what ways does this facilitate or impede your interactions? Consider the way you expect a person to behave, live, or approach you based on your own geographical background, childhood perceptions, or familial conversations about race. Is there room for reconsideration?
Ask yourself: What is the racial makeup of my life and why?
Look at your friends, family, colleagues, professionals, or service people in your life. Consider why you interact with the racial groups the way you do.
The things we do and who we trust to help us execute them is often telling. Our ideas about race reflect how easily we allow racial stereotypes and ideas about class and privilege to box in people of other races. Answer the question above considering whether you (intentionally or subconsciously) expect that certain groups "fit" certain jobs, stations in life, and/or levels of respectability or honorability.
Ask yourself: Why haven't I done more or said more to stop racism?
Think about a time when something racist occurred. Consider why you did or didn’t address it.
Tell yourself the truth here and sit with it, without judging or comparing yourself to others. Honesty is the goal.
Perhaps you worry that speaking up will compromise relationships or your job ("Claiming prejudice is itself racist and divisive").
Maybe you'd really rather not change things in any meaningful way. ("Racism is mostly over or dying out anyway").
Discussions about race may seem too big to pursue. ("Racism will always be with us, so it’s a waste of time to talk about it."
It might feel easier to engage circular narratives ("Addressing class inequality means that racial disparity will take care of itself").
Whatever the answer, it is important to reflect deeply, and determine your stance clearly, for your sake and that of your community.
Ask yourself: What can I do, in any way, to confront racism where I see it?
Perhaps you committed to stopping racism, being anti-racist, or becoming an ally to other racial groups in 2020. How's that really going?
There is no checklist for resolving "the race problem". But you do have work to do internally and corporately. Unfortunately, no one can tell you what addressing your own internalized race issues will look like. But taking on that responsibility is worth the effort. Everyone who honestly wants a better, less biased nation is called to address their thoughts and address each other.
Playwright George Bernard Shaw puts it plainly: “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
Take the Next Step
Periods of reflection and transition benefit greatly from the support of a compassionate therapist. If you need guidance or help to navigate the answers to your questions, please reach out. 2021 is the best time to change your mind and change your relationship with race. We’re here to help.
Please contact us for a free consultation!
Learn More About Our Psychotherapy services. Serving Boulder, Longmont, Denver.
For your other needs, you can count on April Lyons Psychotherapy Group, to help you heal and grow through EMDR therapy, somatic therapy, trauma therapy, and PTSD treatment – because we believe in your strength and potential for recovery.
